Friends, you may have noticed the conspicuous absence of my husband from these pages in the past year, and you may have read in the very excellent recent article by Barbara Blake about my history that my son’s father and I are no longer together. I am choosing to acknowledge the end of my marriage here because, as the story of my life in cake unfolds, I cannot totally separate my work from my life (it is something I learned at summer camp)- so much of my inspiration in my work with the Cake Shop is rooted in my home and family that it would be disingenuous not to briefly and respectfully address it here.
My son’s father and I separated this past July. We shared a beautiful and successful thirteen-year relationship that culminated in the birth of our son, and we have now chosen to let go of each other and our relationship in order to continue on the divergent paths that we have forged. Obviously, this loss has been deeply, profoundly, and cataclysmically painful, and that has taught me a lot: so many people around us every day are experiencing exactly the same kinds of grief and loss, and we may not know it, and we have to be tender with each other, and the things we think we know we might shouldn’t be too sure of. Life can get very surreal when your foundation unravels, but I know that we will all be OK and that many good things are to come.
What is to come for me? I’m getting to know myself. I’m loving my home and my son, and I am kicking ass (along with my totally excellent employees) at the Cake Shop. This summer I am writing a book that involves travelling the South to meet Southern Cake Ladies, my 4-year old in tow (more on that to come). I’m thinking of it as my soul journey. My definitions of community and family have changed. I feel a greater sense of aloneness in some ways, but at the same time, a greater sense of togetherness within myself and with others. I am grateful to my son and to Short Street Cakes for grounding me. My apologies to those friends and family members who might just be hearing the news in this venue, and my thanks to the many friends who have loved and supported me through this process. And my deepest love, respect, and gratitude to my friend Duncan- for the time we shared and the things I have learned.
Footnote: as I was contemplating publishing this post, I browsed into the My Life in Cake history, which I never do, and I found this little interesting gem from a year and a half ago.
Love.